13

The school year is now over, and my class has graduated. Brinker brought me down to the Butt Room that day to meet his father, who gave me a lecture on the war, telling us we must serve our country honorably.  Brinker told me that day that it's his fathers generation who caused this war, but it's up to their generation to fight it. I joined the war soon after that. "I never killed anybody and I never developed an intense level of hatred for the enemy. Because my war ended before I ever put on a uniform; I was on active duty all my time at school; I killed my enemy there. Only Phineas never was afraid, only Phineas never hated anyone" 196. I suppose everyone in the world realizes one day that there is something that threatens them. Once this happens, I believe that person will never be the same. I miss Finny every single day of my life. I will always have to live with the guilt of shaking that branch that day. That day changed my life. I think for a lot of everyone else,  this realization came during the war. Everyone got afraid during the war, and not everyone knew how to deal with it. I'm pretty sure Finny was the only one in the world was never afraid and never hated anyone.

12

I was informed recently that Finny broke his leg again with that fall. Though, Dr. Stanpole tells me that it's a much cleaner break than last time. They weren't allowing anyone to the infirmary, but I just had to see Finny. I can't believe this happened, poor Finny. I snuck out to the infirmary, and once all the doctors and other adults leave, I make my way up the side of the building, and opened Finny's window. Once Finny saw me, I could already tell he was angry. I was about to tell him how sorry I was when he says, "You want to break something else in me! Is that why you're here!" 176. I knew I wasn't going to fix anything being there that night, so I told him that I was sorry, and I left. That whole night, I wandered the campus aimlessly, just thinking. Gosh, I felt terrible. The next day, I was asked to bring some of Finny's stuff to the infirmary. It was when I brought them to Finny that he admitted that he really does believe in the war, but he has tried enlisting everywhere, but no one would take him because of his leg. The doctor told me I could come back after the doctor sets Finny's bone. When I came back though, the doctor explained that something went wrong with the procedure. Finny's heart stopped.

11

Once I returned from Leper's, I found Finny playing in a snowball fight. I immediantly asked him if his leg would be alright doing that, and he responded saying, "No, of course I won't break it again. Isn't the bone supposed to be stronger when it grows together over a place where it's been broken once?" 147. Well whatever Finny says about his leg, part of me is still going to worry. I try not to tell the guys exactly what happened when I went to see Leper, but they all assume he went crazy anyway. A little while later, Brinker confronts me about not enlisting. He says he knows it's because I pity Finny. Though, I'm not sure, I think he hinted that I had something to do with his leg. My suspicions were confirmed that night, for Brinker and some other guys kidnap Finny and I from our room and take us to the assembly hall. They all begin to accuse me of shaking Finny off the limb. Oh, it was such a terrible time. Finny tried to believe that I was on the ground when he fell, but after the interrogation, it seems obvious that it was me. I guess Finny realized that, for he ran out of the room in tears claiming he didn't know what happened. As he was leaving, we heard his body falling down the stairs...

10

Of course, I set out to find Leper right away. He had said he escaped! Is the war really that terrible!? By his "Christmas location", I knew he meant his home in Vermont. I took a train and a bus, and arrived there the morning after i received the telegram. Maybe Leper didn't mean he escaped from the war after all. Of course not. He probably escaped from spies! Yes, that was it, it had to be spies! Leper let me in to his house, led us into his dining room, and proceeded to tell me how he did, in fact, escape from the war. He tells me how they were going to give him a section eight discharge, for insanity. If that happened, he would never be able to live a normal life after that. He explained how he couldn't let that happen. Leper and I go for a walk after we eat lunch with his mother, and from the things he tells me, I do believe that he is truly insane. He told me many stories from base, including one where his roommate was holding a broom. "but I saw right away that it wasn't a broom, it was a man's leg which had been cut off" pg 142. I couldn't handle these stories. I didn't care about these stories. So I ran, and left him there by himself.

9

Finny has recently convinced me to go for the Winter Olympics. I've been training with him a lot lately. It's nice to be close to him again as friends. You would never have guessed who enlisted the other day! Leper! As if the war didn't feel unreal enough as it was. Of course, people joke a lot about Leper enlisting, saying stuff such as saying he's a huge war hero; mockingly of course. Finny and I stop going to the Butt Room, for we didn't really want to take part in these jokes. In fact, I don't really see anyone too much anymore. I spend literally all of my time training for the Olympics with Finny. Oh! Finny decided to throw a Winter Carnival! There has never been a Winter Carnival at Devon before, but of course, Finny started assigning duties right away. "And because it was Finny's idea, it happened as he said, although not as easily as some of his earlier inspirations" pg 121. The carnival actually was really fun. Everyone seemed intoxicated with hard cider, and everyone was just having a good time. We were all having such a grand time when Brownie shows up with a telegram from Leper. He wrote to me telling me he has escaped, and how he wants me to meet him at his "Christmas location".

                                                                                     

                                                                                                             I've been working quite hard training for the olympics.

8

Of course, the first thing Finny does is make fun of my clothing when he get's to Devon; how typical. Brinker came in to see me that day, not knowing Finny came back. Darn kid started joking about me killing Finny again, so obviously, I had to stop him. He mentioned me enlisting, which seemed to make Finny seem not to excited. I kind of got the feeling that he didn't want me to leave him. I don't think I'm going to enlist anymore. On the way to first period, Finny started talking about how he loves winter. I jokingly told him that it didn't love him back. That's when he started ranting on about how of course it loved him back, saying, "What I mean is, I love winter, and when you really love something, then it loves you back, in whatever way it has to love" pg 103. Instead of going to class, Finny convinces me to skip and go to the gym. Once we got there, Finny started talking about how he doesn't believe there actually is a war. I mean, who am I to know for sure? I don't know, I guess I feel kind of bad for Finny because he's obviously suffering. I feel like a terrible best friend for being at fault for that.

7

Brinker came into my room earlier today for a little visit. He joked that "I'll bet you knew all the time Finny wouldn't be back this fall. That's why you picked him for a roomate, right?" pg 79. Altough I know he was joking, it still got me thinking about that night at the tree. Did I shake the tree on purpose? Did I want Finny to fall? Whatever. After that, we went down to the Butt Room to smoke a cigarette. While down there, Brinker pretends the Butt Room is a dungeon, and says that I'm there for killing my roomate. Again, he was joking, but it made me nervous. I got a little worked up over all this joking; I just could not handle it. Without even smoking a single cigarette, I went back upstairs. I simply told the guys that I had to study for French. On the way back, I run into Leper skiing. He said something weird about trying to find a beaver dam on Devon River or something. The guys and I run into Leper later, and Brinker makes fun of him for his little expedition. Leper informs everyone that he has decided to enlist. The thought intrigued me, and it got me thinking of enlisting myself. When I went back to my room, Finny was there.