13

The school year is now over, and my class has graduated. Brinker brought me down to the Butt Room that day to meet his father, who gave me a lecture on the war, telling us we must serve our country honorably.  Brinker told me that day that it's his fathers generation who caused this war, but it's up to their generation to fight it. I joined the war soon after that. "I never killed anybody and I never developed an intense level of hatred for the enemy. Because my war ended before I ever put on a uniform; I was on active duty all my time at school; I killed my enemy there. Only Phineas never was afraid, only Phineas never hated anyone" 196. I suppose everyone in the world realizes one day that there is something that threatens them. Once this happens, I believe that person will never be the same. I miss Finny every single day of my life. I will always have to live with the guilt of shaking that branch that day. That day changed my life. I think for a lot of everyone else,  this realization came during the war. Everyone got afraid during the war, and not everyone knew how to deal with it. I'm pretty sure Finny was the only one in the world was never afraid and never hated anyone.

12

I was informed recently that Finny broke his leg again with that fall. Though, Dr. Stanpole tells me that it's a much cleaner break than last time. They weren't allowing anyone to the infirmary, but I just had to see Finny. I can't believe this happened, poor Finny. I snuck out to the infirmary, and once all the doctors and other adults leave, I make my way up the side of the building, and opened Finny's window. Once Finny saw me, I could already tell he was angry. I was about to tell him how sorry I was when he says, "You want to break something else in me! Is that why you're here!" 176. I knew I wasn't going to fix anything being there that night, so I told him that I was sorry, and I left. That whole night, I wandered the campus aimlessly, just thinking. Gosh, I felt terrible. The next day, I was asked to bring some of Finny's stuff to the infirmary. It was when I brought them to Finny that he admitted that he really does believe in the war, but he has tried enlisting everywhere, but no one would take him because of his leg. The doctor told me I could come back after the doctor sets Finny's bone. When I came back though, the doctor explained that something went wrong with the procedure. Finny's heart stopped.

11

Once I returned from Leper's, I found Finny playing in a snowball fight. I immediantly asked him if his leg would be alright doing that, and he responded saying, "No, of course I won't break it again. Isn't the bone supposed to be stronger when it grows together over a place where it's been broken once?" 147. Well whatever Finny says about his leg, part of me is still going to worry. I try not to tell the guys exactly what happened when I went to see Leper, but they all assume he went crazy anyway. A little while later, Brinker confronts me about not enlisting. He says he knows it's because I pity Finny. Though, I'm not sure, I think he hinted that I had something to do with his leg. My suspicions were confirmed that night, for Brinker and some other guys kidnap Finny and I from our room and take us to the assembly hall. They all begin to accuse me of shaking Finny off the limb. Oh, it was such a terrible time. Finny tried to believe that I was on the ground when he fell, but after the interrogation, it seems obvious that it was me. I guess Finny realized that, for he ran out of the room in tears claiming he didn't know what happened. As he was leaving, we heard his body falling down the stairs...

10

Of course, I set out to find Leper right away. He had said he escaped! Is the war really that terrible!? By his "Christmas location", I knew he meant his home in Vermont. I took a train and a bus, and arrived there the morning after i received the telegram. Maybe Leper didn't mean he escaped from the war after all. Of course not. He probably escaped from spies! Yes, that was it, it had to be spies! Leper let me in to his house, led us into his dining room, and proceeded to tell me how he did, in fact, escape from the war. He tells me how they were going to give him a section eight discharge, for insanity. If that happened, he would never be able to live a normal life after that. He explained how he couldn't let that happen. Leper and I go for a walk after we eat lunch with his mother, and from the things he tells me, I do believe that he is truly insane. He told me many stories from base, including one where his roommate was holding a broom. "but I saw right away that it wasn't a broom, it was a man's leg which had been cut off" pg 142. I couldn't handle these stories. I didn't care about these stories. So I ran, and left him there by himself.

9

Finny has recently convinced me to go for the Winter Olympics. I've been training with him a lot lately. It's nice to be close to him again as friends. You would never have guessed who enlisted the other day! Leper! As if the war didn't feel unreal enough as it was. Of course, people joke a lot about Leper enlisting, saying stuff such as saying he's a huge war hero; mockingly of course. Finny and I stop going to the Butt Room, for we didn't really want to take part in these jokes. In fact, I don't really see anyone too much anymore. I spend literally all of my time training for the Olympics with Finny. Oh! Finny decided to throw a Winter Carnival! There has never been a Winter Carnival at Devon before, but of course, Finny started assigning duties right away. "And because it was Finny's idea, it happened as he said, although not as easily as some of his earlier inspirations" pg 121. The carnival actually was really fun. Everyone seemed intoxicated with hard cider, and everyone was just having a good time. We were all having such a grand time when Brownie shows up with a telegram from Leper. He wrote to me telling me he has escaped, and how he wants me to meet him at his "Christmas location".

                                                                                     

                                                                                                             I've been working quite hard training for the olympics.

8

Of course, the first thing Finny does is make fun of my clothing when he get's to Devon; how typical. Brinker came in to see me that day, not knowing Finny came back. Darn kid started joking about me killing Finny again, so obviously, I had to stop him. He mentioned me enlisting, which seemed to make Finny seem not to excited. I kind of got the feeling that he didn't want me to leave him. I don't think I'm going to enlist anymore. On the way to first period, Finny started talking about how he loves winter. I jokingly told him that it didn't love him back. That's when he started ranting on about how of course it loved him back, saying, "What I mean is, I love winter, and when you really love something, then it loves you back, in whatever way it has to love" pg 103. Instead of going to class, Finny convinces me to skip and go to the gym. Once we got there, Finny started talking about how he doesn't believe there actually is a war. I mean, who am I to know for sure? I don't know, I guess I feel kind of bad for Finny because he's obviously suffering. I feel like a terrible best friend for being at fault for that.

7

Brinker came into my room earlier today for a little visit. He joked that "I'll bet you knew all the time Finny wouldn't be back this fall. That's why you picked him for a roomate, right?" pg 79. Altough I know he was joking, it still got me thinking about that night at the tree. Did I shake the tree on purpose? Did I want Finny to fall? Whatever. After that, we went down to the Butt Room to smoke a cigarette. While down there, Brinker pretends the Butt Room is a dungeon, and says that I'm there for killing my roomate. Again, he was joking, but it made me nervous. I got a little worked up over all this joking; I just could not handle it. Without even smoking a single cigarette, I went back upstairs. I simply told the guys that I had to study for French. On the way back, I run into Leper skiing. He said something weird about trying to find a beaver dam on Devon River or something. The guys and I run into Leper later, and Brinker makes fun of him for his little expedition. Leper informs everyone that he has decided to enlist. The thought intrigued me, and it got me thinking of enlisting myself. When I went back to my room, Finny was there.

6

Now that the Summer-Session is over, it's Winter time. Everything seems pretty normal now. Brinker Hadley is now staying in Leper's room. I have taken the position of assistant crew manager to do something with my time. Quackenbush is the leader of the crew team, he doesn't seem like someone I could get along with. He started to get on my case about taking my position because I'm a senior, and I'm perfectly physically capable of doing something of higher value. The kid made me mad, so i socked him in the face. We got into a fist fight and fell into the water. Quackenbush made it pretty darn clear that I was not welcome back there. Oh well, I couldn't care less to be honest. Later that day, Mr. Ludsbury told me I had a long distance phone call. I called the number he gave me. Finny's voice was on the other end. Is was a relief and shock to hear from him at the same time. Finny was happy to hear that I don't have a new roomate. You could tell he didn't want to be replaced. Finny told me to play sports for him, since he couldn't. It's the least I can do for him.

5

The other day at the tree, something terrible happened. In that moment, while Finny was further out on the limb than I, I shook the branch, causing him to fall. Finny shattered his leg from his fall. No one even suspects me of any wrongdoing. I've been spending a lot of time alone, for no one is allowed to see Finny in the infirmary. I don't even know what to think. While Finny was in the infirmary, I tried on his pink shirt. When I looked in the mirror, I looked like Finny... I was soon allowed to visit Finny. He says all he remembered was, "something jiggled and I fell over. I remember I turned around and looked at you, it was like I had all the time in the world. I thought I could reach out and get a hold of you" pg 57. The first thing that ran through my mind when he said that is that he wanted to drag me down with him! That little decieving jerk! Of course, though, that's not what he meant. What he meant was so that he wouldn't fall. I need to stop thinking like this. I need to stop thinking that Finny's just out to get me.

4

I knew going to the beach would be a bad idea. I had a trigonometry test this morning that i completely flunked. I guess it's pretty much Finny's fault I suppose, since he made me go to the beach without really giving me a choice, but whatever. Later though, Finny told me that I study too much, and accused me of going for being valedictorian. I denied it at first. I literally never even thought about that, but the idea of it kind of pushed me to study more. I asked Finny what he would do if i won valedictorian, and he jokingly said he would kill himself. I know he wasn't serious, but he did seem a little upset over the fact that I could be better at something than him. It would be pretty cool if I acheived that accomplishment, though. Later, Finny wanted me to come watch Leper jump off the tree for the first time. I was studying though, and in my mind, there was no way in hell Leper would do that. I guess I blew up a little on Finny, but I ended up deciding to go. I ended up jumping off the tree with Finny, but something unusual happened this time...

3

A couple nights ago, during the Super Suicide Society of the Summer Session meeting, we went out to the tree again. As Finny and I were out on the limb, I looked back to Finny and tried saying something. I lost balance, and could have fallen and killed myself if Finny wasn't there. He caught me and we fell in together. He kind of saved my life. Then again, if he hadn't made me go up there in the first place, I wouldn't have even been in that situation. So I guess I don't really owe him. Anyway, Finny did the most spontaneous thing yesterday afternoon! He created a new game, called blitzball. Apparently, he's not very impressed by the Summer Session's sports selection, so he started this. It's actually pretty fun, even though all you pretty much do is pass a medicine ball back and forth. It's becoming really popular around the school already, and of course Finny is the best at it. Also, Finny and I went to the beach yesterday, even though it's against school rules. We ended up sleeping there, anyway. Finny told me that I'm his best friend. I don't know if he's serious or not...

2

Mr. Prud’homme found out about everyone missing dinner last night; he was not too happy. He came over this morning to punish us, but like always, Finny talked him out of it. Finny's so good at stuff like that. It seems that no matter how much trouble he gets into, he can always sweet talk his way out of it. I kind of envy him for that. Speaking of Finny, he decided to wear a pink shirt today! He said it was to celebrate the bombing in Central Europe. He can pull that off too! Later today, we were with Mr. Patch-Withers talking about the war. Finny happened to be wearing the school tie as a belt today, and when Mrs. Patch-Withers noticed, she didn't seem very pleased. I thought this would be the first time Finny actually wouldn't get away with something. Well, at least I hoped. Is that bad? Anyway, he did get away with it. Once again, he was able to talk his way out of the whole thing, and even make Mr. Patch-Withers crack up from Finny's humor. Why can't I do that? Sometimes I wish Finny would just actually get in trouble one day, just to prove that he's not perfect.

1

I'm back at the Summer Session Yesterday I went out to the tree with Finny. It seemed kind of crazy, but we decided to jump off the tree. Yeah, we could have gotten really hurt, but we always saw the seniors doing it, and it looked like a blast. I guess we just kind of wanted to hang loose, and do something reckless. I mean it is Summer, and being stuck at school for the Summer Session isn't going to stop Finny and I from making it a good one. Finny jumped first, and though I wouldn't admit it, I was kind of scared to do it. Everyone was shouting at me to jump, so I did it. It was great. Leper, Chet, and Bobby were there too, but they wouldn't jump; wimps. I'm kind of glad that it was jump Finny and I who jumped though, it kind of signified our friendship. We were best friends at that moment. Not that we weren't always best friends... I think. I mean, I'm pretty sure I could tell him anything. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's my best friend. Well, anyway, the whole tree thing was fun and I'm glad we did it, even though we were late for dinner.